I’ll preface this by saying these are NOT the real Proust Questionnaire questions (designed to reveal a person’s true nature), but modified and shortened versions of some of the originals. I doubted my five-year-old could sit through answering 36 of them…though now I wonder if she actually would have. She really enjoyed it. She even asked, when we’d finished, for me to read everything over to her. She laughed at her own responses. Now I want to do this with every five-year-old I meet. You should too!
The Proust Questionnaire As Answered By My Five-Year-Old
1. What makes you really really happy?
Um, going in space.
2. What are you most afraid of?
3. Do you ever lie about anything?
4. Which person or thing do you love the most?
I’m going to choose a person and a thing. I love you the most and my favourite food is strawberries and mango. And can I do a favourite animal? My favourite animal is a cuttlefish and an octopus.
5. When is your happiest moment in the day?
I think I like the nighttime. Because it has stars and I like to count some of them and look out for some nocturnal animals. I like to look for the big dipper and wake up late like a raccoon or a flying squirrel or an owl.
6. What thing would you like to be really good at?
Um, doing weather person stuff. Because it’s cool and I haven’t done that before. I haven’t practiced, but I just thought it would be nice to grow up as a weather girl.
7. If you died and came back as a person or a thing, what would you like to be?
I would like to be a donkey and a horse because I like them.
8. Where would you most like to live?
In different places. Like Victoria and Nanaimo and China. And what is that place…? ITALY!
9. What is your most precious possession?
My jewelry because I like shiny stuff and it’s shiny. Shiny is one of the most important things I need.
10. What do you think is the most important thing in a friend?
Um, nice and kind. A friend should not hit or punch. They should not do anything like that. A friend needs to be nice to you and care about you when you get hurt and help you get up and help you get a Bandaid. Friends definitely don’t kick their friends. They don’t scream at their parents or friends. They don’t whine. They don’t say, “Awwww, IIII waaant a driiiink!”
11. What are your favourite books?
Library books and home books. Animal books, dictionaries…What are dictionaries? [I explain] Yeah, I like dictionaries. Joke books, math books. Bird books. Dinosaur books. I like to study dinosaur bones with books.
12. Who is your biggest hero?
I don’t have one because I haven’t met one yet.
13. What is your favourite name?
Um, Harley and Emma. They’re pretty.
14. What is something you really really don’t like?
Hitting and punching and whining.
15. How would you like to die?
I would like to be digging dinosaurs when I die. When I die I want to go under a rock. Buried.
16. What are some words that show who you are?
I’m a person, not a monkey. I sort of have a teeny tail. It’s pretty short. And I know who I am. I’m [Little e].